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How do these people survive?

ONE: Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could>have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen>nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You
don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I
can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So
I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO: I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of>those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our
things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she
could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much
this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that
today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue
to what had just happened.

THREE: A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she
said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card
number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR: I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replace d the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you
think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit
this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this
remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the
key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over
there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE: Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on
the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX: I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the
manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control"
and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN: My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch
banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my
terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

EIGHT: Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The
message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button
each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the
"lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE: A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs
to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says,
I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency

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